Things I’m Learning in the New Year
Author: Stan Guthrie
February 06, 2025
They always talk about the midlife crisis. Rarely do they acknowledge the three-quarters life crisis. But trust me, it’s real.
How am I doing? As a card-carrying member of the “sandwich generation,” that’s not a simple question to answer at the start of 2025. But I’ll give it a try if you’ll indulge me.
With my career prospects dwindling and—ready or not—retirement looming, it’s hard not to feel a little anxious about the future, despite God’s continuous, generous provision for our family and the knowledge that He is both loving and sovereign. But sometimes I still find my mind straying into unproductive what ifs. Will we have enough? Where will we go? What will we do?
Yet the Lord understands my anxiety and has offered the antidote. It comes down to obedient trust. Thus, I’m clinging to Jesus’ words to anxious disciples:
Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:31-33)
I am called to look to my heavenly Father, who already knows what I need. That’s trust. And in whatever I am doing, whether it’s a “religious” activity or something as mundane as unloading the dishwasher, I am to seek His kingdom first. That’s obedience. As the old hymn says, “trust and obey.”
My New Year’s learning doesn’t stop there. I’ve started to notice that my prayer life has been needing a tune-up—if not a major overhaul. Scripture says that we are to cast all our cares on Him, because He cares for us. Too often, however, my petitions, which are many, have resembled a list of demands from a dissatisfied employee to a busy and uncaring boss. Frequently I find myself rushing through my “list,” checking off each item in turn. And when I get through it, I exhale and move on, unchanged.
But I’m learning that a little God-focused gratitude in prayer goes a lot farther than a lot of anxious effort. I have so much for which to be thankful. I’m sure you do, too, whatever your situation. It never hurts to remind ourselves of this. So if, after praying, you still feel anxious, keep going; you’re probably not finished. Give Him your cares until He takes them. I have to do this regularly.
Another lesson I’m learning—a hard one—is that some of my supposed fervency grows from the poisonous soil of guilt and perfectionism. Sometimes, like the Pharisee instead of the tax collector, I’m too busy comparing myself with others. I feel guilty for the mistakes (real and imagined) that I have made in loved ones’ lives, so I pray for God to fix them and forgive me. I expect my kids, or my parents, to have perfect Christian lives (as others supposedly do). When they don’t (and who does?), it must be my fault.
It’s a sickness straight from our competitive, can-do American culture. Some of my prayers for others, as well-meaning as they might be, are too much about me, not them. That’s arrogant presumption. It’s sin. I need to accept the fact that the adults in my life, even my children, are now responsible human beings, as they should be. Their mistakes are on them, not on me. Having concern for them—and making oneself available to help—is not the same as taking responsibility for their choices.
But when I sin in this way, I show that I have forgotten two comforting theological truths: (1) that God in Christ has already forgiven me of all my sins, and (2) the Holy Spirit is sovereign in human salvation. People will come only when He draws them.
Yes, we are responsible to point our loved ones to Christ, but mistakes are inevitable, and the wind blows where it wishes. The Spirit is not constrained by my failures. What a comforting thought!
If only I lived like this all the time. No wonder the burden I have placed on my shoulders is so heavy. I was never meant to carry it.
So these are some of the things the Lord is teaching me. Thanks for your prayers, and for listening.
Stan Guthrie is Minister of Communications for New Covenant Church.
Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash.
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