My Weakness, Christ’s Power
Author: Stan Guthrie
September 26, 2024
My birth on August 1, 1961, two months early, did not go well. The part of my brain that controls motor function was deprived of oxygen. Only three pounds and 11 ounces, I beat the odds and survived. But for the rest of my life I would carry the burden of cerebral palsy.
Through the years I have often asked “Why?” and it has been hard not to feel resentful. Most of the time I felt like an inferior, an outsider, afraid of rejection. And sometimes I was rejected. Under my friendly and personable exterior, I struggled with bitterness as I compared my abilities and options with those of other people.
One night as a child I remember looking up at the countless stars splashed across the silent sky. In the darkness my mother said it was hard to believe that all this could have just happened—but I wasn’t so sure. My experience led me to suspect that the universe was cold, indifferent, and meaningless. God, if he existed, was either too busy to care or too weak to help.
But needing something to believe in beyond this life, I turned to science fiction, UFOs, and “pyramid power.” I also began reading books about the end of the world, and that got me into the Bible.
As I read it, I realized that my life could only have meaning if I were properly related to the God who created me, just as I was. And this was a God I had never expected: One who was personally, painfully involved already.
He came to earth as a Man, Jesus Christ, to live the perfect life I had failed to live and to voluntarily die on the cross in my place—in short, to pay for my sins—including the bitterness, self-centeredness, and all the rest.
Moreover, he understood my frustrating disability. On his way to the cross, Jesus had publicly stumbled and fallen. He could relate to me. And suspended between heaven and earth, Christ’s weakness was exposed for all to see.
And yet, because he was raised from the dead, someday I too could be raised, with a powerful new resurrection body. That was an offer I couldn’t refuse, and I received Him by faith. Now, as I have walked with Christ for about 45 years I am looking forward with great anticipation to my own resurrection and spending eternity with Jesus and all who love and trust in Him. My physical limitations, as painful as they have been, will be gone—all of them!
I wish I could say, however, that since receiving Christ by faith—not by anything I had done or would do, but because of His death and resurrection—all of my insecurities have evaporated, and I no longer have any doubts about God’s love.
But that wouldn’t be honest. My disability has shaped not just my body, but also my soul. I still get frustrated. I still fall down occasionally. I still sometimes get depressed. My mobility is still limited and now, despite my best efforts, is decreasing as I age. Even though I sense God’s comforting presence nearly every day, it will probably take me the rest of my life to overcome all of my insecurities—but, slowly, I’m getting there!
One day, Jesus’ disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?” The Lord, taking the conversation in another direction, said that the man’s disability was not a punishment or a mistake but a divine opportunity, “that the works of God might be displayed in him.”
What works has God been displaying in my life? Some of His works have been pleasant, but not all of them. Death has taken my father and my sister. I lost a job and have struggled at times to find work. Undoubtedly I will face more frustrations and heartaches. Yet God has been faithful, supplying what my family needs both spiritually and physically time and time again. Amazingly, I have seen the Lord use my words to encourage and instruct others, and I’m profoundly grateful.
Through no fault of my own, I have the best wife anyone could ever want, three beautiful children, and three fantastic grandchildren. My mother, now 87, is a continuing inspiration as she continues to battle health challenges and serve others where God has placed her.
Perhaps even more amazing, today I can accept my disability in a way I never could before, because Christ’s power is most clearly seen not in my strength, but in my weakness.
Stan Guthrie is the Minister of Communications at New Covenant Church in Naperville.
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